We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Panties = found
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
