You're so nebulous sometimes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
