Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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