just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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