I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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