So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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