I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
