why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
