my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
