you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
