Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
