he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
