She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If that was your dad, he is hot
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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