I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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