oh god the rape fog is back!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My ass is underappreciated
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
