Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You need Xanax blowdarts
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
