Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
