i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
