She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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