I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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