Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
