Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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