I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my poor anus
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
