she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
