I wish i was in the wii world.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
