Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
