You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
