HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found puke in my bra..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
