I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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