I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
