I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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