i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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