This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
