TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
40s are totally the cure
Randomize
