Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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