for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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