Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Terrible idea I love it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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