Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
