apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i believe in u and ur pee
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
