Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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