Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
