Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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