please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize