Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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