Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
