Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
