Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize