I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
