chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
