Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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