You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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