You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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