My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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