your parents love me but you hate me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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