So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
