how can u be prego again
I just saw a hot homeless man
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
