Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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