Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
