dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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