i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
