she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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